{"id":3255,"date":"2019-07-25T12:01:33","date_gmt":"2019-07-25T11:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.natashabray.com\/web\/?p=3255"},"modified":"2022-02-04T20:55:33","modified_gmt":"2022-02-04T20:55:33","slug":"mother-wounds-what-they-are-and-how-to-heal-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.natashabray.com\/web\/2019\/07\/25\/mother-wounds-what-they-are-and-how-to-heal-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother wounds – what they are and how to heal them"},"content":{"rendered":"

A huge proportion of my clients have needed healing around parental relationships, particularly healing the mother wounds. Our relationship with our mother (along with how we witness her treating herself), are the biggest influential factors on our own self love and what we believe we deserve or are worthy of.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In some cases I\u2019ve dealt with clients who have clearly had abusive mothers or have suffered the deepest darkest abuse. In other cases there\u2019s simply been a misunderstanding where, as a child, the client felt they weren\u2019t loved by their mother. The greatest feeling is being able to heal clients of their mother wounds, regardless of their origin or the client\u2019s background, and to free them from mother wounds that have had an impact on them their whole lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

What is a mother wound?<\/span><\/h2>\n

The term \u2018mother wound\u2019 is not a clinical diagnosis, but it is a real psychological issue for many. Our mothers play a pivotal role in our emotional and psychological growth and development. She is the person who usually nurtures, protects and empowers us. Our mother initiates us into adulthood and does the best she can, to fulfil our basic needs. This not only affects how we form an attachment and bond with our own mother, it consciously and subconsciously programs how we build relationships with others, as well as how we act as mothers ourselves, in later life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

However, if our basic needs aren\u2019t provided, it can cause emotional and psychological wounds – the ones we refer to as mother wounds. Feeling denied, ignored, put down or feeling less than adequate or acceptable in anyway, will cause us to alter our behaviour in response. It causes us to either emotionally detach and withdraw from others, or emotionally depend on them more than we usually would.<\/span><\/p>\n

These mother wounds will often stay hidden, until you have a child of your own. This then opens them up again, as you see the world through the eyes of a mother.<\/span><\/p>\n

How mother wounds are caused<\/span><\/h2>\n

Mother wounds aren\u2019t necessarily about being physically abused by our mother, although this is one way a mother wound can be formed. Mother wounds can also be caused by many things, including emotional neglect and distress, mental manipulation and the absence of your birth mother altogether (such as through death, divorce or adoption).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Due to her own illnesses, addictions, lack of support, emotional traumas and psychological issues, your mother may have been unable to adequately provide the love and support you needed to prosper as a child or an adult. Equally though, an emotionally absent mother, who only showed you affection and love when you pleased her, can be just as painful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We want to feel loved, regardless of our mood, thoughts and actions. If we\u2019re unsure of how our mother feels about us, we tend to act differently around her – including acting nervous or anxious, always trying to be happy and \u2018good\u2019 in her presence, and feeling unable to go to her with any problems or needs, as well as when we need reassurance or have anything we want to celebrate.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mother wounds – how they affect us<\/span><\/h2>\n

Having to navigate adulthood without the confidence, backup and support of our mothers can be incredibly wounding. If we don\u2019t deal with these mother wounds, we can feel guilty and angry, anxious and depressed, with no control over ourselves or our lives, and looking for someone to blame. Left to affect us in later life, these mother wounds can manifest as:<\/span><\/p>\n